Steve Jobs Resigns, Sales of Black Turtlenecks Plummet
The second part of that headline might not be true, but the first part definitely is: Steve Jobs has resigned from his position as Apple CEO. Apple's COO, Tim Cook, will take over the spot. No word yet on whether he'll also start doing the keynotes wearing the same damn turtleneck.
In a letter posted to Apple's website, Jobs explains that he is no longer fit to "meet my duties and expectations as Apple's CEO," likely due to his struggle with pancreatic cancer. Jobs will continue to serve on Apple's Board of Directors.
"I believe Apple's brightest and most innovative days are ahead of it," Jobs wrote, "And I look forward to watching and contributing to its success in a new role. I have made some of the best friends of my life at Apple, and I thank you all for the many years of being able to work alongside you."
According to Wired, Apple stocks dropped as much as 7.39% following the announcement. Considering the amount of expletives my Apple stock-owning roommate shouted after seeing the dip, it probably won't be a great day for Apple stock tomorrow.
Steve Jobs is/was one of the most pioneering and notable members of the Silicon Valley community, and influenced society as a whole with Apple's sleek, user-friendly approach to computing. He's also famous for his black turtleneck, which is his uniform in many public appearances. How many of those does he own, anyway?